My $95-an-hour (*note: one hour in English=45 minutes in therapish) therapist recommends that I start going to one of his new group meetings ($40 per meeting), along with meeting with a social worker in his office who specializes in spouses of men w/porn addiction (cha-ching!). I was driving to my appt. yesterday, through this crime-ridden neighborhood where the therapist's office is, and thinking what a freaking yuppie loser I have become. Only a self-absorbed yuppie dork would be spending so much time and money on such a self-absorbed pastime as personal mental health. Honestly, we are lucky in this country that all poor people do for the most part is drink, do drugs and kill each other, because I am assuming that they can't afford good psychiatry and their lives must be much more of a pain in the ass than mine is. How do they do it? How do they survive in the world of $6/hour jobs with no health insurance and childcare is $150 per week and gas is $3 per gallon...yeah all the math doesn't add up, that's for sure.
Regardless, it still sucks to be married to a porn junkie and it sucks to live in Kentucky and it sucks to be fat even when you don't really eat a lot. And it REALLY sucks to be doing yuppie stuff when you're not even really in that league financially and don't really put yourself there mentally. Is this what a mid-life crisis is all about? You wake up one day and realize that everything you ever thought you knew was a complete load of shit and you wasted 20 some-odd years of your life in a misguided trance headed nowhere? Is it ever too late to fix it all?
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